Dreaming
The
river was quiet and calm. I jumped into the water and swam for a couple
of metres. I looked behind and waved at my parents, then continued
swimming.
The
water deep and dark, but it slowly turned bright and translucent.
Instead of the river I found myself in a hall full of water. I swam
to the other end. My movements were easy and smooth.
I
stopped and turned back trying to continue swimming. But the water
transformed into air, so it no longer sustained my weight. I fell
flat on the floor and had to walk back.
The
fact that the water had turned into air was so strange that I realized
that I was dreaming. Walking back towards my parents I remembered
that in reality I was lying in my bed.
Still
the dream images would continue, so I let the phantasms go on without
trying to wake up. This felt like a scintillating sensation, as the
mind first sharpened and then fell back to the dream world, until
it sharpened up again and was reminded of the dreaming. In this state
of sleep and semi-sleep I could observe my own dreaming.
I
was aware of the fact that usually the mind concentrates on things
already known, simply circulating previously established facts, trying
to make sense of these, but now I noticed that instead of the known,
my mind was moving in previously unknown areas. Little by little new
things revealed themselves, elements which at first seemed fragmentary
and irrelevant but which soon turned out to be aspects of a larger
world. For instance, I found a piece of paper by the river side and
inspected that. On the first page there was a list of names and objects:
Ukko
Ilona
Jussi
Queen
Police
Peacock
Bicycle tire
The
list seemed more or less random, so I concluded that the dream world
was incoherent and irrational, but then I noticed that the list happened
to be a Dramatis Personae of a play; the list covered the characters
and props needed in the performance.
Page
by page the play opened up before me. Act by act the dialog unfolded
and the story revealed itself. In an astonishing way the list of people
and objects found their logical place in the construction. I was amazed
at the level of detail and the carefulness of design. I wouldn't have
invented such a construction, even if I had worked on the idea for
a number of months.
My
observations of the dream world alerted my mind to a degree that I
opened my eyes and looked around. I was lying in my bed. My parents
were watching me; for some reason they were not sleeping. I experienced
the same scintillating feeling again, and continued dreaming. A strong
sense of the supernatural filled the room. This was scary since I
wasn't sure whether I'd rise up in the air or whether something unexpected
would take place.
Nothing
happened, however, so I slid back into the dreaming state. I found
myself in an old-fashioned house. Ilona watched TV that showed a film
clip I had taken. She laughed at my brother, Jussi, who appeared in
a strange costume. I was also shown on TV dressed up in a very conservative
outfit. The impression was comically exaggerated.
My
cousin Jasse and his girl friend came to the room. They were quiet
and shy, until they noticed that I and Jussi appeared on the TV. My
conservative role amused them so much that they relaxed and started
talking freely.
Another
cousin of mine, Tuomo, emerged. He was dressed up in a shabby jacket
and acted as if he was a great artist. Everything he said was carefully
calculated so as to give an impression of irony and intelligence.
I took a lot of snaps with my camera in order to capture the moment.
Later
on I showed the pictures to my parents. In addition to my cousins,
there were numerous shots of my grand-mother. I had snapped pics of
her in a quick succession so that the photos looked fresh and natural,
very much like her when she was still alive.
I
knew my grand-mother had died some fifteen years ago. But for some
reason she still looked very much alive and well in the photos. Yet
the pictures had an interesting atmosphere. The lightning was very
peculiar. Perhaps that was the reason why my parents were particularly
interested at these rare shots of my grand-mother.
