Socks
I
was having lunch with my old school mates. We were almost twenty people,
gathered in a wooden house near the old church of Uusikaupunki. I
had picked an assortment of appetizers and sat next to my old friends.
Opposite
to me sat a dark-haired woman whom I did not recognize, but I was
told that she was a composer. Privately, I was also informed that
her music was a general laughing stock. The woman had specialized
in making background music for TV programs. Her style differed from
the mainstream to the extent that people liked her music as 'extravagant'
and 'artistic'. However, when I got to hear a few samples, I didn't
think it was that strange. Admittedly, the music was a bit lofty in
tone but otherwise the arrangements were very well made.
The
dinner table became crowded, and there was not enough food for all,
so the atmosphere grew a bit tense. At a suitable occasion, when people
were not looking, I left the scene.
Sari's
sister and her family were in town, so I looked around to find them.
After a brief search I joined them in the town centre. They were in
search of fast food, so we walked around the marketplace and the surrounding
streets, until we found a vegetarian restaurant which offered light
snacks. This was fine for others, but I was more hungry than that.
As a consequence, I decided not to stay. 'I'm going to eat a pizza,'
I said as I left.
Out
of the many restaurants I had seen, only the local pizzeria had looked
appealing enough. Sure, like most pizza places, this was noisy and
crowded, but it was a long time since I had had a decent pizza, and
my stomach growled quite a bit.
But
on the way I remembered that, in fact, a bit further away there was
a nice-looking Chinese restaurant, so I walked there. However, to
my disappointment, the place was closed. Yet I saw someone entering
through the side door, so I followed closely behind. Opening the door,
I saw two Chinese waitresses half-dressed putting on their clothes.
I quickly closed the door, turned around, and headed towards the pizzeria.
At
the counter I made an order. Then I got seated by a table.
Soon
the pizza was brought to me, and it looked just the way I wanted:
big flat bread, with crispy crust and juicy fillings. Slicing pieces
of the right size, I ate with great appetite. But after finishing
almost one third of the pizza, I was astonished when the rest of the
filling turned out to be men's and women's socks. There were at least
ten pairs. What in the world did they do in my pizza?
I
grabbed the socks and took them to the counter.
'These
socks were found in my pizza,' I protested.
'They're really quite clean,' the vendor apologized.
'But why did they end up in my pizza?'
The cashier did not respond.
'I managed to eat only a half. I'm still hungry!'
The
vendor seemed to understand as she remarked, 'I've always said that
that the laundry pile above the baking tray is not a suitable storage
for clothes.'
I
assumed that the cook now began to prepare a new portion for me. He
looked at the cookbook for instructions and asked what certain English
words meant in Finnish. I duly translated and immediately he cut the
ingredients in question and laid them on top of the pizza base. I
remained standing at the counter until the pizza was ready. It looked
really good: plenty of tomatoes and olives. But I was disappointed
when the waiter carried it past me and handed it to another table.
Undeniably,
there were a lot of customers. Perhaps the others were in line ahead
of me. So I stayed and continued waiting. But nothing happened. After
a quarter of an hour I got tired and left the restaurant.
But
just as I had exited, I turned back. This cannot go like this, I thought,
and returned to the counter.
'How
about the socks?' I asked.
'They're too small for you,' the vendor said.
'Yes, but I need something for compensation.'
The
seller promised to give one third of my money back. I didn't argue
against this, so I received 20 euros in coins.
On
the way home, I met another friend from my school days. As we convensed,
he was surprised to hear that I no longer lived in the town.
'I
have lived for over twenty years in Helsinki,' I explained.
'Then what are you doing here?' he asked.
I
told him the whole story, including the episode in the pizzeria. While
I was recounting the events, a whole bunch of people gathered around
to listen, and when I finished, I got a big applause. Apparently they
thought that I was some kind of a standup comedian.
